Confidence is commonly misunderstood as projection.
Men are told to speak louder, hold eye contact longer, take up space, and behave as if they already believe in themselves. These behaviors can create the appearance of confidence, but they are often compensations for its absence. This is explored in more detail in Why Dating Advice Fails Men
True confidence is not something a man performs. It is something he carries.
Performance requires effort. Confidence frees attention.
A man who is performing is focused on how he is being received. A confident man is focused on what is actually happening.
Confidence holds under pressure because it is not outcome-dependent.
Groundedness communicates safety. It signals emotional regulation, self-knowledge, and the capacity to lead without force.
Performance chases approval. Confidence allows connection.
The work is not to appear confident, but to become the kind of man who no longer needs to appear as anything at all. The practical expression of this appears in Meeting Women Without Games.